Let’s face it – every overseas trip means a suitcase full of questionable souvenirs to sift through when you get home.
From weird t-shirts to retro Chairman Mao statues, China is up there for having some of the tackiest souvenirs around.
Here’s what you could end up buying on a trip to this fast-developing and crazy country.
1. I ‘heart’ t-shirts
Ok, I admit it – there’s something cute about declaring your love for a Chinese city by wearing a white t-shirt with a few black letters and a red heart.
But you can thank New York for this one. I ‘heart’ NY t-shirts started in New York a gazillion years ago, and the craze has spread to every touristy city across the globe.
Shanghai’s version of the t-shirt is ‘I heart SH’, while Beijing’s is the ambiguous ‘I heart BJ’. It’s Chinglish at its best!
An 'I heart BJ' t-shirt. What the!?
2. Fake antiques
Three words of advice when buying antiques in China: beware, beware, beware.
Fake antiques are rife in markets across much of China. While they might look like ancient treasures – old watches, wooden dragons and jade trinkets – just wait until you get home and realize your neighbor bought exactly the same thing five years ago!
Unless you know what a genuine relic certificate looks like – or you’re qualified to host the BBC’s Antiques Roadshow programme – it’s best you buy antiques at low prices knowing that they’re not, well, antiques.
3. Mao paraphernalia
You’ll see Mao Zedong paraphernalia for sale everywhere in China. The most common items include the Little Red Book, statues, plates and badges.
Mao Zedong paraphernalia, like this statue, can be found all over China.
You’ve probably got a mini Eiffel Tower and mini Statue of Liberty sitting on a shelf somewhere at home. So why not add a mini Chairman Mao statue to the collection?
Sure, miniature statues are a little unimaginative, but they’re a nice way of keeping tabs on all the places you’ve been to.
You’ll find mini Maos in all shapes and sizes, from baby-sized ones to life-sized ones (not so mini, after all!).
If you’re serious about buying a decent statue, go for a brass one that you can shine until your heart’s content. If you’re in China for a while (for example, teaching English like Brooke did), send it home early unless you’ve got oodles of room in your suitcase.
4. Silk pyjamas
No trip to China is complete without a 'tour' of a silk factory.
The tour will start with an explanation of silk worms, and you’ll get to see some real ones doing their thing (for show, of course). Following that, you’ll get a run-down of the production process and how it’s been modernized over time.
Silk factory near Suzhou, eastern China.
The tour will culminate in a massive hall of silk products, ranging from luxurious bed sheets to children’s pyjamas.
If you’re buying an expensive item, or even a few smaller things, it’s definitely worth asking for a discount. Haggling for the best price is part of a Chinese person’s DNA.
Unless you’re buying from a government-licensed operator like the Friendship Store, the same rules apply here as per antiques above: it’s buyer beware.
If in doubt, ask your tour guide or preferably a local. Some tour guides are paid commissions for the sales they bring in, so you want to be 100% confident that you’re buying the real deal.
You probably can’t get a tackier Chinese souvenir than a kite.
These plastic toys of dubious quality can be found in many places in China, including the open spaces around the Bird’s Nest Olympic Stadium.
Kite-flying near the Bird’s Nest in Beijing.
This particularly windy area in the nation’s capital, Beijing, makes for perfect kite-flying conditions. That’s why you’ll see numerous kite sellers showing off their wares in this part of town.
Want to know the only good thing about this Chinese souvenir? It shouldn’t set you back more than a few dollars.
7. Hand-painted bottles
These little glass bottles are painstakingly painted by hand or mass-produced in factories. A good quality one can look lovely in the right spot.
Pandas, flowers, dragons – the choice is endless when it comes to the scene you want on your bottle.
Seeing the artist in action is a sure-fire way of guaranteeing your bottle is handmade.
Hand painted bottles – tacky or not?
8. Calligraphy sets
While not as prevalent as they used to be (thank you, iPad), there’s something very quaint about a Chinese calligraphy set.
Sure, it’s a Chinese souvenir that you or your loved one will probably never use, but at least it does honor one of the ancient Chinese traditions – writing.
For an additional fee, some stores will be able to engrave your initials into the stamp. Now what’s tackier than that?
Ok, this is probably our favorite Chinese souvenir because it’s practical.
If you choose wisely, you’ll return home and actually be able to enjoy drinking some real, fragrant Chinese tea.
Tea is a regional product in China, meaning different areas produce different types of teas.
Avoid the souvenir shops unless you want to pay exorbitant prices. Your best bet is to go to a supermarket and buy some local tea for a fraction of the price.
If you’re in China for a while, for example teaching English like Malachy, ask a local for a recommended tea shop. Many cities have lovely tea shops – to buy from or drink at – which the tour guides will never take you to.
Tea is one of the most practical Chinese souvenirs.
10. Terracotta warriors
Ahhhh, the ubiquitous terracotta warrior statues.
Even if you don’t get to visit Xian, where the real terracotta warriors are located, you’ll be able to buy these little gems anywhere you see tourists.
Like most things in China, the quality of the warriors can really vary. You’ll be able to pick up a cheap and dirty box for just a few dollars, or pay top dollar for a carefully crafted set.
Here’s a quick quality check: touch a warrior and if it leaves a black mark on your finger then you know it’s not worth paying much for.
What do you think of this list? What other tacky Chinese souvenirs have you bought?